I had a conversation last night with my pastor. I didn’t like the realization that I wouldn’t be okay with the answer being no so I just wanted to share that with somebody.
His most helpful insight during our conversation (after reassuring me that he didn’t believe that the answer is necessarily going to be no…but of course, everyone will say that) was essentially this:
Getting to a point where no is obviously the answer isn’t necessarily going to happen overnight. God doesn’t just take us to the edge and drop us like that if the request/desire is something so deeply important. He works in us over time and prepares our hearts for the no…and most likely brings into the picture beforehand other things that we wouldn’t have considered otherwise.
God eases us into no. That’s what a good shepherd does.
TTC update: AF showed Monday morning. So it was a real negative. At least I’d already had my meltdown; if the negative and the start of AF had been a few days apart I’d probably have had another good cry. Small blessings.